MY THREE-STEP PROCESS TO STOP OTHER PEOPLE MESSING UP YOUR LIFE.
I see so many people who literally allow their entire life to be dictated by one person’s words.
Really think about what I just said there…
Some people allow their ENTIRE LIFE to be dictated by ONE PERSON’S WORDS.
Entire life. One person’s words.
A little out of balance, wouldn’t you say?
I’ve seen it, and I’ve done it….
We pluck up the courage to start seeking more for ourselves; we decided to take a risk to go after something that is important to us; and we take a step forward to go after what WE REALLY WANT.
And then, one piece of criticism comes our way, and we undo all that hard work, and decide to be influenced by SOMEONE ELSE!
Okay, there are usually a few other factors that come into play like our own limiting beliefs, low self-confidence and fear…
But as soon as someone confirms our doubt, it can break our confidence, create fear and it gives us the green light to avoid these beliefs, doubt and fear, and take the easy option…
Go back to what we know, not upset other people, get comfortable, and just throw it all away.
But, is that the ‘easy option’?
– Staying stuck
– Living your life for someone else
– Being easily influenced by other people
– Not going after what you really want
– Running towards a future of regret and disappointment…
Sounds hard, if you ask me!
Yet, the process you need to stop your self-sabotaging behaviour is very easy.
VERY EASY!
Step 1: Awareness
First, you bring awareness around what you’re doing. Become aware that you’re choosing to sacrifice your entire life, because of one person’s words.
– Entire life. One person’s words.
– Entire life. One person’s words.
– Entire life. One person’s words.
Once you realise you are getting the wrong end of the bargain, you’re probably less likely to do it!
Step 2: Understand
Now, you need to understand why these people are criticising you, feeding your negativity, putting you down, spitting judgmental crap to your face, without you even realising.
You can see that I am getting a bit, ummm, let’s say ‘passionate’ about this subject, because…
These haters!
Yes, I said it. These haters, are the worst kind of people usually. Because they’re so manipulative that they generally make you feel like you’re making the decision on your own!
You may be completely unaware that someone has just deliberately derailed you from going after your dreams, and accepting far less than you deserve!
Worst yet, you may even thank them for their advice!
Let me explain a little bit more about these haters, and what they’re actually trying to do when they open their miserable little mouths…
Haters, are people who quite frankly are uncomfortable with themselves in some way.
When they judge you, criticise you, say sarcastic comments about you, laugh at you, or even give you some helpful advice… what they are doing is justifying their own insecurities and doubts about themselves.
Their subconscious is feeling uncomfortable, denial is being broken down and they may
wish they could have the courage to take a risk like you are!
But they don’t!
So rather than accepting that they’re a pussy, it’s easy to drag you back to their level.
They may also just be unhappy, and by you being happy, may make them feel worse. So again, the selfish manipulative ways of these haters is to judge, criticism and ‘advise’ you, so that you again don’t get something that they secretly want.
Another thing to take into consideration is that they may just find it satisfying to exhort power over you to influence your actions.
Some people are control freaks, and they simply like to change people’s minds and tell you about how wrong you are, and how right they are.
Guess what though?
They ARE wrong.
…and YOU ARE RIGHT.
Do you know how I know this?
Because it’s your messing up your life!
And do you know what that means?
YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH IT!
So, whatever you decide to do, you don’t need someone else’s approval or opinion, you simply do it…
Regardless of what they say.
Let me give you an example:
I’ve recently been quite vocal about the fact that from a young age I’ve wanted to be famous.
Que haters to the left of the stage please…
“Lewis, you should just love yourself, you don’t need fame to do that.”
“Haha. Seriously? How are you going to do that?”
“It’s hard to be famous you know, most people fail’
I could literally go on forever! There are lots of disguised hate being thrown about, trust me.
Seemingly normal comments (that’s because there are lots of haters out there) – but they’re just haters, that are one step closer to sabotaging your entire life!
Let’s go through one by one quickly and I’ll tell you what they really mean.
“Lewis, you should just love yourself, you don’t need fame to do that.”
Actually means: I don’t want you to do that, as It’s something I desperately want, but what I did, was rather than having the courage to pursue it, I did some work on myself to love myself instead. That worked, but I still want to be famous, and I don’t have the courage to admit it, so If you do it, I will know I have made the wrong choice, and that seems scary; so, don’t do it.
“Haha. Seriously? How are you going to do that?”
Actually means: Wow, I couldn’t do that. So, if I can’t then you can’t. If I admit to myself that you can do it, that means I have no excuse by to start trying to make things happen in my life too, but I can’t be arsed – so, I’d rather make you think that you can’t do it either.
“It’s hard to be famous you know, most people fail’
Actually means: If you become famous you’re going to live this beautiful, exciting and happy life. That would make my life seem horrendous. I don’t want to feel like that, so it’s best you don’t live that life. Let me manipulate you into thinking that it will be too hard, then you won’t bother, and I won’t feel so bad about my life.
See what I mean now? Makes sense, right?
Now be honest, do you recognise these types of comments from people?
Well, now you know…
Time to do something about it.
Step 3: Extract
So, why would you want people in your life that are so selfish they try and bring you down to make themselves feel better?
The problem is, as I mentioned earlier, a lot of this hate is so common to hear, that it’s sometimes disguised as friendly advice.
Someone you really respect may even pull you to one side and tell you **Insert hate here**
It’s hard to not allow yourself to be influenced by it, but let’s remember what we are talking about here…
YOUR LIFE.
We are talking about your ENTIRE LIFE…
Pretty important, right?
So, there are ways you can bring your attention to these people’s behaviour and try and see past it…
Or…
You can tell them to get lost.
If that’s what’s needed to get them out your life, then do it.
However, let me suggest a way you could approach it that may be a little better received.
“Thank you for your opinion, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t give it again. I am really happy with my decision and I don’t want to run the risk of anything changing my mind.”
However, what you’re really saying is, get out my life. I am going to achieve my goals no matter what, and I am not going to allow SOMEONE’S WORDS dictate my ENTIRE LIFE… thank you very much.
See you later haters. Adios Amigos. Bye For now. Au Revoir.
My life matters. Your words don’t.
Follow this process and these people won’t mess your life up anymore, trust me.
Lewis ~ someone who’s been there.
