Lessons from Dan Meredith…
“It’s got to be perfect, or I’m not doing it at all!”
Although seemingly positive, that statement almost murdered my dreams.
Luckily, after sitting down with Dan today for a 1:2:1 coaching session, I had the privilege of him telling me to shut the fuck up and listen:
“Stop fucking around, over-thinking and just do it.”
He’s right.
Here’s the thing.
Perfectionism doesn’t exist; It’s an illusion. Why strive for something that is physically impossible to achieve?
Although I have learned to overcome this obstacle, it still creeps up on me.
I first realised when I was in rehab and I physically couldn’t bring myself to hand in my morning journal, after attempting 20-30 times to write the damn page-long entry without making a single mistake.
I would literally make my knuckles bleed from punching the wall; I was so angry with myself!
Thankfully, this happened whilst going through extensive therapy – so I found out where it came from…
It’s actually a trait of low self-worth.
When we are overly critical of ourselves, we expect others to respond to us in the same way.
Makes complete sense, doesn’t it? Although I didn’t have the awareness at the time, that’s exactly what I thought…
I can just remember stressing to myself now: “make sure it’s perfect, because then nobody will know you’re stupid!”
You may be wondering why I said perfectionism nearly murdered my dreams?
Look at my first statement ‘It’s got to be perfect, or I’m not doing it at all!’
Now, if I’m honest with myself, if I weighed it up, how many things would I have done that are perfect…
Well, 0.
Maybe a few things that I spent a lot of time and energy on, sacrificing my well-being and enjoyment of the task;
And how many things have I ‘not done at all’?
Shit loads.
Imagine one hundred opportunities and ideas…
The perfectionism strategy:
* 2-3 well-polished pieces of stress induced outcomes.
* 97-98 missed opportunities and un-actioned ideas.
Or
The taking action strategy:
* 100 opportunities and ideas that have been implemented and materialised.
These 100 ideas and opportunities have the ability to be improved, development and eventually PERFECTED later on.
Perfectionism holds you back from taking action. Simple as that.
It’s very cleverly disguised procrastination, avoidance and above all… plain laziness!
If you can relate to this – I’ve got news for you…
I was worried everyone would think I was stupid, turns out some people think the opposite.
Can I tell you what is stupid?
* Keeping those amazing ideas locked up in your head for fear of criticism.
* Not taking advantage of opportunities because you’re not good enough.
* Not going after what you want because you are not ready.
As Mr Meredith relentlessly drummed into my head today; even after hearing him say it constantly…
“TAKE IMPERFECT ACTION!”
I agree. But it’s easy to let your head get the better of you sometimes.
After today?
I choose to be perfectly imperfect – and I’ve got some work to do.
Thank you, Dan!
You’re such a decent guy at heart, and despite all the abuse you give me; I do respect you.
I’m looking forward to being part of your world more moving forward.
Everyone,
Final message:
Just because your work isn’t perfect, doesn’t mean you aren’t.
P.S – I still checked this status 34 times for typos (Work in progress haha)
Lewis.
