I have been a hater of my own reflection many times. I’ve been confused and annoyed with my actions and regretted a lot. I’m guilty of the “I should’ve, could’ve” and the “What if’s.”
Oh, and procrastination. The time thief. The grave in which most of our opportunities are buried.
It’s easy to give yourself excuses rather than trying to find solutions to problems we face.
I’m guilty of wasting my worth on the opinion of others. Allowing tropical pictures and “perfect” beach bodies to create the following assumptions in my mind;
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m not good looking enough”
“I’ll never live in a place like those people”
“Their just lucky, they have all the luck”
Which of course manifested into feelings of insecurity, anger, fear, resentment and disgust. Not just for them – but for myself. Why?
Why would I allow myself to feel this way? It led me to start digging into the question I thought I knew the answer to. “Do I love myself?”
Because if we truly love ourselves then why do we criticize our worth when we see something we don’t yet have but long to have.
All the anger and ignorance known as the emotions that trigger into an envious state. Realistically, jealousy is the biggest waste of energy we’ll never get back. All the time we waste on such an emotion creating limiting self beliefs which lead to low self esteem and then absent actions. Just because we assumed we rolled an unlucky number.
Meanwhile, I was still sitting in the same situation I was in last year. Even if I made endless promises to myself at the beginning of the year only to break them soon after.
I got irritated, I had to admit I was disappointed in myself for feeling this way and letting myself give up on creating my dream life.
Things had to change, but how?
It was obvious I was wasting energy on jealousy for others. I wanted what they had – the money, the car, the body, the clothes, the house, the freedom and the lifestyle.
I’d detest seeing the social media posts again and again reminding me of where I long to be, where I’ve gone wrong and who I want to be like.
I’d say “Their boasting again. I dislike them so much!”
Feelings of depression were kicking in again following with the thoughts “Nothing good ever happens to me.”
So here’s how I changed the perspective of feeling envious of others and circumstances. I considered accepting that I’m not them and never will be. I had to be authentically me. Because there is only one of me, and of course only one you. Our awesome and authentic selves.
When seeing that paradise image of ‘Betty dipping her toes in the blue ocean and sipping on a cocktail’ that looks photoshopped, try responding with the feeling of gratitude instead of resentment.
That’s right. Give gratitude for what ‘Betty’ is sharing. What would usually consume you into becoming the “green eyed monster” of envy, let it be your reminder to fuel your ambition. Not infuriate your mission so you stop creating your dream life.
Instead of allowing your thoughts to turn to hate and discontent, ask yourself the following;
“What is it I’m so envious about when seeing this right now?”
“What do I need to do or what else can I do to have what they have?”
“How can I taste a cocktail like that?”
When you truly accept what you feel within you to come to surface, the tears, the irritability “the green monster” – admit it to yourself, it’s okay to feel this jealous emotion. Instead of letting it consume you, let it fuel you to reach out to ‘Betty’ and say;
“Congratulations on your success. Thank you for being so inspiring in every way and for reminding me to keep going for my dreams. I’d love to know if you’ve any tips for me to live a lifestyle like yours.”
When we surrender to how we truly feel, we understand ourselves so much more. And when we understand ourselves we have clarity. And when we have clarity so does our vision. And when we have clarity on our vision, so does the universe.
When we choose to commit to letting jealousy in, to fuel our ambitions instead of anger and ignorance. Life begins to flow and transform.
So remember, next time you’re feeling envious. Fuel into ambition.
About the author:
Rebecca, Holistic Spiritual Life Coach and a Mother of one. Her mission is encouraging others to recognize their own self worth and discover their true authentic power within. Motivating others to change the perspective of life’s challenges and keeping a positive mindset to start living. Banishing negative behaviours and procrastination.