Have you ever thought to yourself… Why me?
Why is life so hard? Why do I always seem to draw the short straw? Why do bad things keep happening to me?
We’re going to reveal to you exactly why they keep happening to you,
Not in the way that you might think.
There have been many things in both of our lives, [Lewis & Liam]
Which could have completely written us off.
We could have made a decision at any point to give up and say
“Things can’t get much worse than this!”
To put that in perspective, we’re talking about dealing with terror attacks, suicide, prison, sexual abuse, addiction and trauma
It’s so easy to look at those things in our lives and play the blame game
We could have easily used the excuse…
‘No one knows what it’s like to be me, they haven’t experienced this and this is why I’m at where I’m at.’
Nobody wants to have those kind of hardships in their lives
Here’s the thing,
Just because it’s not your fault, does not mean for one minute that it’s not your responsibility to do something about it
Because this is YOUR life!
There’s a well known video where Will Smith speaks about the difference between fault and responsibility,
And at the time of watching it I remember thinking,
‘Woah!… I thought fault and responsibility were the same thing!’
And now I look at it, I realise that those two things are worlds apart.
But that’s because I’ve learned a lot since then.
Before I used to think
‘This is not my fault, I don’t need to do anything about it, it’s not my fault, so why would I do anything? It’s not my responsibility to right a wrong’
Back then, fault and responsibility seemed quite similar.
But now, being a little bit more woke and having a little bit more knowledge,
I can now differentiate the two.
Looking back at the video now, it doesn’t sound as powerful as it once did.
But when I first heard it, it blew me away, Will Smith’s words were very powerful
Things have happened to you and if those things hadn’t happened, you wouldn’t be here now
You see, I could have easily played the blame game and I did play that game for a years
I believed everything and everyone around me was the reason my life was so difficult.
And I refuse to accept responsibility for myself and my life.
But as soon as I did, I took that control back and I realized I had power.
It was like…
“WOW! If I take responsibility, then it means I’m able to do something to change it.”
Because when you blame somebody else, you’re playing the blame game and shifting that responsibility from yourself, onto somebody else.
Then you’re not able to do anything about it
Because unfortunately, someone else isn’t going to do anything to change your life.
That person that hurt you, that person that ditched you, they’re not going to come over and make it better for you.
So you have the choice…
It wasn’t your fault that something bad happened to you
But it is your responsibility to ensure you keep moving forward to ensure that you make things good again
Now this could be controversial,
But here goes…
Currently there’s a very overused term, which is supposed to be empowering
But I think on some levels it’s quite damaging and I’m constantly hearing people saying
“It’s okay not to be okay!”
Of course I understand the premise,
I understand the essence,
I understand the feeling behind that too
But I want to give a little caveat to that…
Of course things happen in your life, which result in you not feeling okay,
It’s NOT okay to stay there!
When people say, “It’s okay not to be okay.”
Sometimes I feel like there’s a little bit of a sense of giving up responsibility,
Giving that away and saying,
“Well, you know what? I feel sh*t today and that’s okay because it’s okay not to be okay.”
It is okay, to acknowledge and understanding that at some point you will feel down, you may feel anxious, you might feel depressed
And things happen to you and it will make you feel in a way that you don’t want to feel
That’s okay, because you’re a human being and that’s inevitable,
But staying in that place, that is NOT okay
Because you have to take the responsibility to move yourself away from that feeling of not being okay,
Living there and remaining in that space is giving up and it’s giving up that responsibility
It’s very much like with the fault thing…
Is it completely out of your hands that something bad can occur?
It’s happened and it’s made you feel really crap
But it’s not okay just to say…
“Oh yeah, but it wasn’t my fault, so I’m just going to live here now.”
Don’t stay there
You’ve got to fight your way out of it!
There is a thin balance between honoring your emotions, understanding your humanism and allowing yourself to experience a natural range of emotions based on things that cause you discomfort.
But then it’s important to always say
“Okay. Now, what are we going to do to move forwards?”
And that’s the part that not everybody allows themselves to do
Because they’re sitting there in that resentment, that bitterness, that blame game
Thinking it’s someone else’s fault,
But that way you lose your power
Because you’re waiting for somebody else to come and save you.
And unfortunately, they are never going to come.
The only superhero of your story is yourself!
Cheesy as that sounds,
You are the only one who’s ever gonna be able to save you.
You can sit there, blame and shift responsibility and be angry, bitter and resentful about the world and the hand that you’ve been dealt
But that won’t change a thing until you actually accept responsibility for your life and take back control
Start taking responsibility for the things that have happened in your life
We know you won’t regret it!
This was taken directly from – The Coaching Masters Podcast – If you would like to hear the full episode where we dive deeper into the topic of ‘How Life Is Always Happening For You‘ – Click here to listen now!