Stay in your own path
When we talk about Self Worth or valuing yourself it is vital that we look at each topic relating to what we are trying to achieve, starting your journey is hard enough without comparing yourself to others.
This is something we have learnt growing up,
“Why can’t you be more like your brother”
“They would never have done it like that” ….
I always remember my little brother in school, I was quite the swot, completing work in lessons and being a teacher’s pet, my younger brother had the same teacher as I did for German and I didn’t really understand then what I understand now.
The teacher would comment to him all the time “ Your Nina would never had done that” …thinking back with what I know now how unfair can it be to be labelled or compared to someone else
We all have our own personalities and our own paths to follow, though siblings are related even with identical twins you never get the same two personalities or strengths.
We have heard so many phrases throughout our life that it has pushed us into the direction of comparing, so its hard NOT too!
When we compare ourselves to others it leads to disappointment, our failure to impress others with how we are performing or our limited beliefs that we cannot be what others expect us to be, we treat ourselves badly by self-sabotaging.
The scary thing is we can all relate to this at some point within our lives, its not uncommon!
We accept how things are and continue that path.
And there you have it peeps!! The Hamster wheel….
Only the wheel is not serving us well, when you compare yourself to others the mind takes over, not only do you compare to others with performance, appearance, relationships, Love, we also start believing that we are not good enough and do NOT deserve a better life.
You, as all others deserve to be happy, you just need to find your happiness and not that of someone else.
I spent many years thinking my relationship wasn’t good enough, that my man was not good enough for me, yes shallow I know – I based this assumption on the fact of looking and comparing our relationship to everyone else’s,
“Why are you not married by now?”
“Why don’t you live together?” by doing this it nearly destroyed us,
WE tried living together as everyone suggested only, I absolutely hated it!
4 months I lasted, enough was enough!
Now we couldn’t be happier, we spend most of days together we live in both of our houses …. and when we need to take a break and have some time alone that’s ok too!! I am on my own path, following what I want! Not what people tell me is the ideology of how a relationship should be.
So how do we truly stop comparing to others?
We need to look at our own wants and dreams, what is it you really, really, really, want? Despite what people may say.
Do you want to become a self-employed florist or maybe go back to college?
Or are you genuinely happy with the job you do right now?
Can you honestly say that you do not feel hurt or resentment when you are overlooked on a promotion?
Or that someone in your office is getting a bigger bonus than you?
Do you sit there and think that your partner is staring at other people, whilst out and about with you?
Do you long to be like someone else or are you happy within your own skin? …. Yes, many people face the same challenges!
Here we have 10 different ways to help you to start your journey on stopping yourself comparing to others!
- Make a list of what it is that you truly desire! (YOU DESIRE)
- What are you values, by this I mean what are you willing to accept!
- Write a list of everything you are grateful for, and mean it!
- Realise that its ok NOT to be perfect as perfectly imperfect actions count!
- Know that you write your own story!
- Know that you and only you have the power to change the story!
- Make a list of habits you want to change!
- Turn the comparison into inspiration (do not be envious of others)
- Know that you are Unique, there is only one of you! And that is special!
- Turn bad habits into good habits!
“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just Blooms” – Zen Shin
About the Author:
Nina has spent many years working with women all over the UK building Self-esteem, Self-worth and Female empowerment, her journey started when she joined a retail party plan business over 18 years ago and built a successful female based business, inspiring others to become financially independent!
Working with women she grew a passion to become a coach, delving in deeper helping ladies to enjoy healthy Sexual Well-being and truly connect to their inner core, knowing their Worth!