Let’s just get straight to the point here.
We all have sex at some point in our lives.
I often like to compare it to the weather.
Sometimes it’s steaming hot and other times it’s bloody freezing.
Nobody wants to have sex when its freezing cold.
We all want passion and heat with our partners.
Sometimes in our relationships things get in the way of our sex lives. It could be kids, work or you have just lost that spark over time.
I’m a mum of 4 kids so i know sex is often the last thing on my mind.
My husband often says i should go to the doctors and get my headaches checked out as i must use the famous line “not tonight babe, I’ve got a headache “ more often than i’d like to admit.
Sometimes my sex life goes drier than the Sahara desert (my poor husband) so i like to try and spice things up.
There are all sorts of ways couples can spice things up in the bedroom.
Fulfilling each other’s fantasies is one, that could be dressing up into each other’s favourite film star or they might be a bit partial to the professional workforce, firemen (my favourite) nurse, pilots, air hostesses and police force are often the favourites.
Sometimes it could be a bit of role play, going on a date with your partner and acting like you have just met can ignite the fire back into the relationship.
I’ve had friends who get their partners to knock on the door and act like they have come round to fix the washer.
I suppose that’s one way of getting your partner to finally do the job round the house they have been promising for months.
Going away for a weekend or even a night with your partner is also a great way to get that spark back.
Get the grandparents to babysit, pack your bags and go and have some relaxing, alone time away from the kids and household jobs and just be a couple again.
This is one of my favourite things to do with my husband when we both realise we’ve been slightly neglecting our relationship and everyday life has got in the way.
We usually just go away for the weekend and be just a couple again.
Sometimes it doesn’t need to be anything extravagant to get that spark back into your sex life.
It could be having a bath together, cuddling up watching a film together, cooking a meal, giving each other a massage or even just putting your phone down and having a conversation with each other can work. Just having time together is all your partner needs sometimes.
Sex and being intimate with your partner can often boost your self-confidence, helps relieve stress, makes you happier and can boost your self esteem and who doesn’t want to feel all of these things.
It’s also known for helping improve physical fitness, immune function and helps lower blood pressure.
So not only is sex beneficial for you relationship its also beneficial for your body inside and out.
Intimacy with your partner doesn’t always have to be just within the bedroom.
Intimacy can start with the little things like holding hands, kissing, cuddling, leaving a little note and honest vulnerable conversations with each other.
Often we forget to do the little things in life to just show our partners that we love them and it’s the smaller things that usually mean the most.
So my message to you is sex should be fun, exciting and hot. It’s not all missionary positions, it’s about spicing things up and trying new things.
Fulfilling fantasies and trying new positions.
Taking each other on dates, holding hands, kissing and just showing each other the love is still there.
So if you have lost your spark give these things a try, dress up and fulfil your partners favourite fantasy or take each other away for the weekend and enjoy.
About The Author:
Vicki is married and mum of 4 children. 2 boys and 2 girls originally from Manchester she moved to Costa Del Sol 8 years ago and started a new life in the sun.
Vicki decided to become a relationship coach and help women struggling with intimacy and confidence within their relationship.
Vicki has been a victim to sexual assault, she’s also been physically and violently assaulted in a past relationship and came out the other side stronger and more confident than ever.