Issues around confidence are a common source of pain for our clients.
Some find a lack of confidence almost impossible to shift.
That’s where we, as the coach, come in to help.
Generally, when people are confident, their thoughts turn into judgements about their capabilities, they then use those judgements and take action. Because the judgements are supportive and positive.
But it works both ways.
When people are lacking confidence those thoughts and judgments of what they are capable of are holding them back.
Confidence is about choosing more helpful thoughts – saying to yourself, “I am capable” and “if I try this I might fail, but I will learn and succeed from that failure”.
Most of our clients are incredibly capable.
The only thing holding them back is their own beliefs that they’re not!
Remember beliefs are not facts they are just strongly held opinions.
And where your attention goes energy flows.
Meaning focusing on something with our thoughts makes it more likely we will take action in that direction.
So help your clients focus their thinking on their strengths and their ability to take action successfully.
To help you with this…
Here Are Our Top 5 Tips For Increasing Your Client’s Confidence:
1. Find Out What Your Client Believes About Confidence
By asking thorough coaching questions you’ll both get a good understanding of what your client believes about being confident.
Ask your client:
- What does confidence look like/ sound like/ feel like to you?
- Where do your beliefs about confidence come from?
- Who do you think of when you think of confidence?
- What do they do to show you they are confident?
- How is believing you have a lack of confidence affecting your life? positively/negatively
- Why would you like to have more confidence?
Ask them to write down what confidence is to them and what confidence is not.
For example, confidence IS:
- Showing up publicly.
- Speaking up and being open and honest without fear.
- Belief in themselves and their capacity to master something.
- Always feeling comfortable in themselves.
- Not letting difficulties stop you.
Confidence is NOT:
- Aggressiveness, being pushy.
- Talking over others.
- Thinking they are always right.
2. Work On Your Client’s Main Limiting Belief
Identify the main limiting belief your client has, and keep working at it until you end up with a clear statement of how they are feeling starting with ‘I AM….’ or ‘I BELIEVE…’
It is your job as a coach to work through this limiting and really try to break it down for your client.
Question it from every angle.
- Why do you believe this is true?
- Why could this not be true?
- Who told you this was true?
- Do you think other people who look confident from the outside feel the same?
Then ask if your client has ever felt confident before.
Get them to explore this memory and feel how they once felt.
Is it possible that they could feel this way again?
3. Recognize & Reframe Your Client’s Negative Thoughts
Support your client to notice the repetitive and continuous negative thoughts that come with feeling unconfident.
Maybe write a list of the most common ones.
This tip is all about bringing your client’s awareness to the negative thought cycles they may be getting into which are unhelpful when they are trying to overcome their limiting beliefs.
You’ll need them to learn to recognise them quickly so they can then go on to reframe them.
Help your client question these thoughts to counteract ingrained beliefs and self-judgments.
Support your client in writing a list of helpful and positive beliefs to replace their negative ones in a situation where their confidence is challenged.
4. Prepare Your Client For The Upcoming Action Taking
What did your client do in the past that worked to make them feel confident?
Was there a set of steps they took? It’s important to explore this in detail.
You will need to uncover how could they could use their past experiences to help them in the future when they are in a challenging situation.
You’re going to need to get your client to design a specific set of steps to follow, which they have proven worked in the past, as they will need to take some action to be able to really break through this belief.
This is your chance to really empower your client.
5. Support Your Client To Take Bold Action
Support your client to take actions that may challenge their belief.
Be sure to get them to reflect on the action they took, the specific steps and how it helped them move forward, setbacks are inevitable but steps forward in the right direction are essential.
Remember confidence is like a muscle, built through action!
The more they work on it and get successful results the more their confidence will increase.
These 5 tips just scratch the surface o the steps you can take to help your client become more confident.
Are you struggling with powerful coaching questions to use with your clients? Check out our coaching masters card deck.
The perfect solution for getting transformative results and eliminating question blocks forever!