Being a people pleaser? Are you one? I WAS!!!
For as long as I can remember I’ve been/was a people pleaser!
What is a people pleaser some of you may ask?
This is the technical bit – Being someone who pleases people sounds, on the face of it, like a very good idea.
But a pattern of behaviour riddled with problems, as much for the perpetrator as for their audience.
The people pleaser is someone (who might at times be oneself) who feels like they have no option but to mould themselves to the expectations of others, and yet, harbours all the manners of secret and at point dangerous reservations and resentments.
They can confuse everyone around them failing to express, in due time, with the requisite courage their authentic needs and ambitions.
But this Is how it was for me!
It’s possible that we all do this at some point in our lives, but for me it’s been a bit of a lifelong habit.
Mine started from being bullied at a young age, through primary and secondary school!
I had very little friends and was often isolated, this is my start point of “people Pleasing”
In a nutshell a “people pleaser” is someone who can act in a way that’s not them, they’ll do things, make decisions based on what other people want or are easily influenced by others, over trying to be like “one of the lads” coming across as cocky.
The downside for me is I would constantly elaborate stories in order to make people like me, this started to come across that I was a bit of a Bullshitter (FOS Full Of Shit)
This is what I wanted to drop, why because now I could see that being something that I wasn’t actually had a reverse effect on what I desired!
Now this habit is something that I personally really wanted to change, but changing the issue internally was the key!
After I had 5 months of Mindset coaching (within this facility) I started to make changes internally that literally changed my life on so many levels, that even to this day no amount of words can describe it!
I now make choices for myself, fully show the vulnerable side to myself, embrace what I’ve become, and actually I haven’t become anything different to myself, I’m just showing it, rather than hiding behind a version of myself!
And finally, as I always say in my coaching sessions, Instagram Lives –
Embrace The Change – Become The Change – Never Quit
About the Author
Simon, A Confidence Coach, he helps millennial women establish unshakeable confidence and be ready for anything!
Strong Supporter of Anti-Bullying and is building a movement to change this around the world.