A journey of a thousand steps started with the first step.
So where do I start? If you’re reading this post then it’s safe to say you have already made that 1st step and put yourself closer to a transformation. Good on you I say!! You deserve a pat on the back for taking a giant first leap.
I remember when I was where you are and it wasn’t so long ago.. clicking around the internet looking for an answer on how I could help myself improve my life and dig myself out of a negative outlook.
If only I could find a magic wand inside my google search box, then all my dreams would be known. I was a lost and broken soul for many years with no simple answers but carrying around a deep gloom about me and a feeling of emptiness.
Really, have you ever tried to put a smile on your face to the whole world when you’re feeling down everyday?
Selecting your favourite songs from Alexa and having a bit of a dance around the kitchen, maybe a favourite drink in hand, could induce some happier times. Even maybe your bank card taking a beating and ordering a new outfit. Getting your nails done or booking appointments for your hair or eyebrows, an instant confidence boost to make you feel that little bit happier. What about the gym membership you bought a few weeks back, that you’ve used a few times, but keeps fading into the background. Self-love books to kick your head in to touch and perk you up a bit? Are you happier? Or is it a temporary fix for a short moment?…
Ok, so maybe it wasn’t a dance around the kitchen that got you spurred up or a card beating, gym setting, healthy diet eating attitude, that got you going for a bit, maybe it was something else but are you finding that’s really going to answer all your prayers?
Yes girl, it’s going to be a short term fix, like putting a plaster over a wound and waiting for it to heal. But you can’t mask the sorrow for long, it creeps back in at the end of the day.
What you have to do is let the air get to it, just like that cut and let it heal naturally. You can’t force a happy mindset, but I’ve learnt you can definitely guide it and build one!
I’ve learnt from my experience, as I was that girl above… almost trying to fix an internal problem with an external fix of material things. Since when do material things ever make anyone really happy?
I got it, but I now know, just what I wasn’t admitting, that this unhappiness was festering away, so deep in me, that not even Bonjovi – Living on a prayer was going to relieve it. “Stop bloody hiding away from it, you can’t hide from it!” I would tell myself!
I blamed my poor job, lack of money and no hope for the reason I was never getting anywhere in life. It certainly wasn’t my fault that I didn’t have a nice job, a really posh house, amazing car or great pay and the 2-2 children and perfect family life. It was definitely the fact I lived in a town that had done me over time and time again, family and friends that had wronged me, my traumatic life experiences or chaotic lifestyle I chose to live… I was the victim of my story.
Have you ever felt a victim of your own life?
Well, take a look deeper, because if you have ever felt that way then YES a victim of your own life is exactly what you are and that makes you as guilty as me …
You will learn that is your first mistake…
Aren’t we all been guilty of walking around thinking; Why is life so cruel? What do I have to do to get a break around here? Why do I deserve all this shit?!!
Crazy right? We go through so much in our lives and we constantly blame others for what they put us through, like we don’t have to take responsibility for ourselves. Sounds silly saying that out loud, of course, we take responsibility for ourselves, but can you honestly say you do in certain situations or do we fall back into our own heads of the blame game?
Well, guess what? If you sign up to TCM membership, you’re going to find out pretty fast that we had a choice all along and you get to choose your thoughts and actions. Who knew right?
I bet you’re going to ask me what has this got to do with being happy or self-discovery, WELL… this is the thing you see, it has because the way we think and feel has a lot to do with being happy in ourselves, that feeling of being content.
The first step to a self-discovery journey is actually becoming aware of our own behaviour, our thoughts and feelings. What is it that we bring to our own table and how we have impacted our own life to deal with our problems… Challenges in the coaching world.
Self-awareness, waking up to the bullshit we tell ourselves and really taking a good look inside at what and who we are, that’s where the real work begins.
The things I described above are simply a step on that road. Self-love is important, it’s the driving force behind our self-worth and what we want from ourselves.
That, in my experience, is definitely the most important step, but in hindsight, it’s not the first step to finding a long term fix of our happiness, it is, however, the first step I find people turn to in their quest for the answers
When I started my TCM journey that was exactly where I was heading but becoming a member of this amazing community, sharing experiences on the accreditation with some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, all wanting to learn about coaching and put them on a path of purpose to self-healing, all of which have a story of their own to display. Have supported me on a journey to not only heal myself but go on to heal other people in the same way.
Really this is where it all began for me, My journey taught me there is so much more to becoming a better version of yourself and it all starts with one person. That person was ME!
So back to that first step of Self-awareness, I’ll say it again so it sticks in your head. The ‘be super honest with yourself’ step. Think about the patterns of your life, think about the circles you go round and round, are they harmful? Destructive even?
Are you prepared to step up and admit the truth?
Through a wonderful coach, I found from the TCM members, I did exactly that. I got coached and I learnt how to take the time to think about my strengths and weaknesses. I wrote down all the things that were on my negative list, things I didn’t like about myself, habits and behaviours I’d adapted to.
I even asked my daughter to be brutally honest and add what she wanted to the list, tough going, as I was thinking seriously do I do that? But this became my starting block. To be fair seeing it all on paper really got to me… here I was looking at this list and all I could see was behaviour patterns.
If it wasn’t for learning on the coaching masters accreditation, then I would not have been able to recognize the fact that what was holding me back was my own behaviour. They teach you to be aware of this. Behaviour is not who you are, powerful right? Being a coach will also teach you that behaviour can be adapted and beliefs can be changed with a supportive community and the knowledge they have they will teach you how you can literally change your thinking.
Ever heard the phrase, ‘Change your perspective change your life’?
Well coaching is exactly where you need to be, to do just that, it may not be a simple quick fix like the plaster I was talking about earlier, you will have to put the work in and really want it, but I promise you it will all be worth it and taking that step will surely bring you closer to a deeper sense of true happiness
So I will ask you again, are you really a victim of your life or are you playing the victim?
Self-realization is the start of your journey, enlightenment is the result.
Welcome to the coaching masters website
Keep That Smile Going!
I’m Vicki- Lienna – Enlightenment coach
About the author:
Vicki has been a member of the coaching masters since November 2019 after following and watching other members progression. She became accredited in May 2020 after completing the accreditation course. Vicki is CBT trained and trained in events planning but is also studying the ultimate launch and will be due to branch out in just a few weeks. Vicki has built up her coaching business around the journey of self-discovery and law of attraction with her clients. She is a Super-mum of 4 and 2 stepdaughters and you on your way. Turning her life a 360 in such a short space of time from a depressed mum with no purpose or confidence to really take action and step into her power to become who she is today.
You can find her on:
Instagram: Vicki- Lienna