Why Don’t We Change… Even When We’re In Pain


I need to tell you a story about a man and this howling dog.

There was this old man, who did his daily walk on the exact same route every day.

It was a street, where every house had a dog. They all barked at him when he walked past, except this one dog, that was sitting on the porch, just whinging, and crying. The man didn’t really understand why the dog was crying every day.

One day as he was walking past he had enough, and walked up to the door to investigate. He knocked. The owner of the house came out.

The old man said :”Excuse me sir, but your dog has been crying for days, every time I walk past, not barking, like the other dogs..”

The owner looked at the man, nodded and said: “ I know.. he’s been sitting on a nail for days…” The man looked confused and asked why the dog is not moving then?

The owner replied: “ it doesn’t hurt him enough….”

Are you laughing? Or facepalming yourself?

Yeah… I know.

Sometimes when we are in pain, we just whinge, and cry and feel sorry for ourselves, but doing something about it just feels… too much.

When we have to decide between the unknown and the feeling we’re used to, our brain would rather have us suffer than take a leap of faith into the unknown.

We think of the worst case scenario, without realising it’s not the most likely thing to happen…


What if it gets worse?

I don’t even know what I want…

What do I want?

No idea.

Let’s just stay here, sitting on this nail… It doesn’t hurt that much, I actually am getting used to it…

I’m almost starting to like this feeling…

It’s not my fault anyway, someone should help me change and get off this nail.”

Sounds familiar? Definitely does to me…

When we think about our pain we know that it hurts, and we wish it could be different. But the thought of change is even more painful and just straight up SCARY.

But we have two options…. To stay and hope for a “miracle”, for the lotto, for someone to knock on our doors and save us… And to know it might even get worse or take responsibility and move on.

It is time. Time to stop howling, whinging, crying and take action.

I know it’s hard, I know it’s scary, and I know it takes commitment and effort.

But let me ask you a few questions, and let’s see how you feel…

How are feeling right now? Do you like this state you’re in?

How do you want to feel instead?

How would that state look like? How would it change you? What are feelings you get when you imagine yourself in that state? How do you look like?

What would it mean to you to get to that feeling?

Now come back… Is this really where you want to stay?

Is staying an option? Is there anything that you would miss?

Is it still worth it?

Change can be challenging. But once we realise it’s inevitable, staying is not an option anymore. We will have to commit and take that action.

What’s your first step?

About The Author

Lilla is a Self-Discovery Coach, helping overwhelmed women and men find, know, trust & love their true inner selves, set goals that align with their values and make them take action.

She currently offers a 10-week coaching program, specialising in self-discovery with a holistic approach .

You can find out more about her and the program through

Instagram: Instagram.com/liveinabundance_

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